7 Reasons Why an L.D.R Isn’t So bad

Well, it’s offical. 

I’m at the tail-end of a long distance relationship. Only a few months until I will be  sucking it all in as my white dress is being zipped up, paying others to make me feel the most beautiful I have ever felt, and looking down at all of my belongings in boxes, ready to be transported to a new home.

This relationship has had it’s ups and downs as every other relationship, but one thing that has been a constant down has been the long distance aspect of it. With almost 500 miles seperating us, distance isn’t something that we enjoy or planned, but it is something we have grown to respect and appreciate. 

Once you stop looking at things so black and white, you start to realize there can be some good aspects of these dreadful circumstances. 

Here are some of the not-so-apparent benefits of being in a LDR:

1. You learn to communicate better. Just because you are far away doesn’t mean you can’t be a part of each other’s daily lives. Communication really becomes a lifeline in LDRs. I say this because if you have nothing in common, can’t agree with one another, or aren’t willing to yield or change at times, your relationship will drown. LDRs are real relationships. 

If you are communicating as you should, distance shouldn’t hide who you are. It should showcase who you are.

2. You are always up to date with technology. No avoiding this one, you’ll be the first to notice updates in social media apps like Snapchat and Instagram. And you’ll spend precious precious time discovering new emojis and sending special videos to one another. Personally, my fiancĂ© and I FaceTime a lot, are big on Snapchatting and frequently Pinterest ideas for our future home. Though we don’t use these apps, I have heard that Marco Polo and Voxer are helpful too. We are trying out this app called Avocado at the moment, and I actually kind of like it. It allows you to connect to your significant other and share a calendar, lists, and photos. The free version has some limitations, but I’d say its worth a try. 

Technology is your friend when distance is the enemy.

3. Time together is precious. I can’t imagine a better way of illustrating it aside from this: Imagine your best friend moving away. You are still super close but only see that person every once in a while. Reuniting with your boo thang is even more emotional that that. Wear the waterproof mascara. There will be long hugs and cry sessions. There will be lots of “I missed you”s and “OMG”s. Since your long-distance love is back in your arms, life once again seems whole. 

It’s long absences that truly help you realize how important your time together is, and that you shouldn’t take a second for granted. 

4. Physicalities don’t get in the way of what’s important.  Not having your special person near is hard, but it helps you to focus on one another without distractions. Their strengths and weaknesses will become very apparent when all you do is talk all night. You learn who they really are in all types of situations and don’t have the opportunity to overlook important faults because of something physical. 

Differences in outlooks in life, family size, or morale cannot be fixed with a hug or kiss. Just so we are clear. 

5. Makeup isn’t a necessity 24/7. I wake up every day at 6:00 am to work an 8 hour shift, sometimes even having to work another 5 hour shift right after. Makeup isn’t on my priority list sometimes. Sometimes I want to sleep. So, not having to physically see your significant other is a blessing in disguise sometimes. Sorry, but it’s true. On those (ugly, ugly) days, I either find a mode of communication that doesn’t involve my face, or make a frantic dash to my makeup bag when it is time to talk face-to-face.

When it’s time to Facetime or Skype, your makeup will look flawless and fresh, and he’ll never know what hit him! 

6. You learn to be YOU, not Y’ALL or THEY. Sorry, is my Texas showing? Independence is always looked at negatively in regards to relationships, but the truth is you have to have some sort of self-worth and self-respect to have a healthy relationship in the first place. Independence is vital in not only surviving a LDR, but any relationship. Heaven forbid you split up or your significant other flatlines while being operated on by Meredith Grey at Seatle Grace Hospital!  You need to have strength and determination in yourself to continue on in life. (And yes, of course that last example can happen!)

The foundation for a strong and happy couple is two strong and happy individuals.

7. You can take advantage of opportunities to be creative. Yes, it’s sad you can’t be together. But that doesn’t mean you are limited in ways to show you care. Pinterest is loaded with ideas for LDR couples. Wouldn’t a movie date be fun? Why not watch a movie together while video chatting? Send a care package to show her how much you care. Send him a surprise gift or an unexpected love letter. Send yourself as a surprise! 

Nurture your relationship by any means necessary.

    There it is: seven reasons to appreciate long distance relationships!

    What do you guys think? Can you add to my list? Put your thoughts in the comment section below; I would love to hear from you!


      Coming Into Your Own

      I write this today not to speak about becoming who you are as a person, but learning who you are in a unit. 

      I don’t plan to speak too open and honestly, but I do feel like this is something I need to write about, mainly because I am at this moment in my life. 

      I do not plan to post a link to this on my Facebook page in hopes that those closest to me do not read it. Isn’t that weird? But if they happen to find this post, kudos to them for loving me enough to check out my blog! 

      As many of you have guessed or know, I am involved in a long distance relationship with the best guy in the world. He lives 2 states away. That’s 500 miles. That’s a 7-8 hour drive. In the time we have been together we have learned so much about ourselves and eachother. Personalities, bad habits, pet peeves. I’ve learned a new thing to love about him every day.

      He’s come to New Orleans a few times to visit me and meet my friends and family, but it was only recently I got to see The Peach State, where he lives. 

      Coming to his neck of the woods, I feel, has changed my whole outlook on our relationship. I was able to truly see who he was in a comfortable environment for him. I saw his house, how he dealt with family, everything. It was such a different experience from the visits with him being with my family and hanging with my friends. It was nice seeing his life, aka the life I look forward to. 

      That brings me to Us and Our Unit. I feel like we are slowly figuring out who we are together physically, spiritually, and mentally. Which I am so happy and proud of since we live so far from eachother. We talk all the time. All the time. All. The. Time. But being together is different. 

      I feel like ever since I was a kid people would tell me every relationship is different, as all people are different. It didn’t truly hit me until recently how true that is. We are who we are, and our relationship is special. Aside from honoring God’s laws and principles, there is nothing else (person or unit) we should answer to. Like my man always tells me, we are our own circle, just me, him, and God. That’s it. So I am so happy to see Us grow and learn and laugh with each other. It truly makes me feel blessed to have someone as dedicated to Us as I am. 

      Anyway, the longer I write and the more I reread what I have written, the more I realize that maybe this post has no true main point. I guess I just needed to get this out there…  Thanks for your patience!

      Piece by Piece

      In the beginning you gave me the puzzle pieces of You, piece by piece. Your day, your jokes, your story.

      Piece by piece.

      You shared with me your heart, layer by layer. Your dreams, your hopes, your secrets. Layer by layer.

      You managed to break down my walls, brick by brick. My insecurities, my fears, my doubts. Brick by brick.

      You maneuvered yourself into my heart, corner by corner. Your wit, your depth, your kindness. Corner by corner.

      We put together a trip to see each other again, plan by plan. Time off requests, rental car, long drive. Plan by plan.

      Time ticks away, 

      second by second.

      minute by minute.

      hour by hour.

      day by day.

      week by week.

      month by month. 

      We survived the separation and cherish the time we have, moment by moment. Quiet talks, private prayers, shared smiles. Moment by beautiful moment. 

      The days add up in happiness, smile by smile. The laughs, the food, the experiences. Smile by smile. 

      The end approaches and a bad taste in my mouth appears, swallow by swallow. Long goodbyes, tight hugs, and last looks. Swallow by swallow.

      The loneliness is back and my eyes start overflowing, tear by tear. Empty room, quiet house, heavy eyelids. Tear by tear.

      I hop into bed and my heart starts breaking, piece by piece. Distance, stupid distance. 

      Piece by piece by piece.